I am an angel of history
who takes
a step sideways
to avert my doom

sees calamities in peripheral vision

wonders about luck and chance.

I missed the stars tonight, there are still stars but I’m not out there.

I used to take an interest, and full moons too. How it sways in the night sky.

Somewhere it changed. Some, some shifted so I’d rather not look. Betray the alone now.

To focus on trees
And grief
when sea anemonies
will starve a slow saltless death

and be tossed by unfamiliar currents
while lower foodchain links bloom
in unrelenting atmosphere grabs
winning the fight to the bottom.

And our grief made irrelevant decades ago
to our children who rage
impossibly ineffective against
this cutting tide.

Wind tonight hammers a clip
on the electrical service outside
my headboard, to the left

And the rhythm of it repeats incessantly
then stops as winds shift

To hear the jingle of a cat toy
being toyed with under my bed
and I have to imagine it is the cat’s fault

Then silence with the swish
of a dishwashing machine
in the background

And a bit of tinnitus
that usually fades to background
without fail except now